Music that is not Crap for 2004

Presenting a Life Sucks and then You Die new year special...

While sifting through the various year-end top albums / singles listings in the various music e-zines, one cannot help but guffaw at the stuff these so-called music critics write about: 'the next big thing' , 'defining music' etc etc. 2004 was a crap year for music, and it showed with the less than quality releases that came out throughout the year. To top it all off, there was Singapore Idol. In order to save my soul from being tainted by utter crappiness, yours truly is coming up with an obligatory blogger's year end ( or year begin in this case) top ten favourite music kind of stuff.

It is really hard to find good music amongnst all the crap, furthermore the amount of quality music that is actually broadcasted in Singapore is nearly zlich, therefore the list is going to be a combined album / single catalog of what I can get my hand on through various er-hmm means, which includes regular visits to HMV to listen to music for free (there's very few credible record stores around) and of course, constant usage of the PC (cough cough).

2004 has been a year defined by heavy club beats, electro-funk-thrash, lots of acoustic and the occasional random nutcase moments. So here goes, in no particular order:

Outkast
Roses (Single)

'I know you'd like to thank your shit don't stank
But lean a little bit closer
See that roses really smell like poo-poo'

Yeah that's the chorus for the song. String all these lines together, add some upbeat drums, a piano starter, a smooth melody and a little bit of Andre 3000 magic... Ta da! You get a great song with a socio-commentary story to boot. The whole song reeks of Prince, Andre 3000 does a fitting tribute to the story-type songs plus musical and vocal style of the nameless one. Oh, did I mention the single came out of the Grammy Award's Album of the Year?

Erlend Oye
DJ Kicks (Album)

This is one of those DJ mix compilation that features a different DJ for each new album. Erlend Oye (one half of the Kings of Convenience - quiet is the new loud!??!) stars in this one with his unique blend of mixing and singing over the songs, thus you get unique but ear-pleasing 'remixes' like Royskopp's 'Poor Leno' with the lyrics from a Smith's song sung over it. Erlend's soft and melancholic voice blends seamlessly into the club tracks with great effect! I try to do this kind of things during my sets but I usually get some beer bottle fragments stuck on my head once I open my mouth. He is not as good in mixing as me though (hahahaha). However, the selection of the best micro-house numbers around will definitely keep you entertained for about 55 minutes of your life. Oh yah, there a song inside which I would have included inside my list 'Alan Braxe & Fred Falke - Rubicon'.

Modest Mouse
Float On (Single)

It doesn't get as indie as this. They have been producing music for ages and finally out comes a single which finally shoots up the charts. Bounce along to optimism and sugary goodness of this song.

'Now don't worry we'll all float on...'

Brian Wilson

SMiLE (album)

The lost Beach Boys album, the supposed follow up to 'Pet Sounds' (A regular number 1 on best albums ever charts), it got scrapped due to the mental state Brian Wilson was in at the time of production (1967). Now several decades later, the finished album is finally out... and it is beautiful. Though not on par with 'Pet Sounds', it is a classic on its own. Snap your fingers, tap your feet and hum along as the record plays on your stereo, this little gem which transcends time... and smile!

Kylie Minogue
I Believe in You (Single)

Gwen Stefani
What are You Waiting For? (Single)

Britney Spears
Toxic (Single)

Infectious beats, smooth production, magical effects. This female trinity follows the same formulae: collaborate with producer(s) with a deep reputation, make sure it's dancefloor friendly and shake a lot of ass. Together, they blow the competition miles away...

The Fiery Furnaces

Blueberry Boat (Album)

The first time I listened to this album I thought it was crap. After a few listens, the music really grew on me. This is one of those albums where you have to listen from start to finish in order to appreciate how good it is. Full of highs and lows, weird outtakes and cut-ins, lots of instruments, the song structures really takes time to get used to. That is the beauty of this album, it does not sound like any one thing at a time, a most unique output from the year 2004. A brilliant psychedelic ride.

The Walkmen
The Rat (Single)

The Stills
Love & Death (Single)

While the 'Blueberry Boat' bubbles slowly up, these two singles practically engulfs the listener straightaway. Guitars blaring, drums thumping, turn the volume up to 10 with these songs on the stereo. At their core, the songs are thesis of life, a paper on loneliness and disenchantment. Shout along!

Camera Obscura
Underachievers Please Try Harder (Album)

Twee pop at its best. With Belle & Sebastian going Hollywood on its last album, Camera Obscura has produced an album which ranks among the best of B & S. Words like charming and sweet can be used to describe the acoustic laden tracks with that all so tender voice and occasionally funny lyrics topping the cake off. A must have for all Belle & Sebastian fans!

The Vines
Winning Days (Single)

Despite the negative press that the band has been getting this year, this has to be the single of the year for me. It is what one would call a pop moment, listening to it makes you feel like you're actually playing an instrument in the song during one of those lovely late evening jam sessions with all your good pals. The almost perfect harmonies, holding rhythms and bittersweet lyrics makes you feel lazy. Lie on your bed and listen to it over and over again!

Honourary Re-release of the Year
Manic Street Preachers
The Holy Bible (10th Anniversary Edition) (Album)

Listening to this album when I was fourteen was a most harrowing experience. Richey James immortalised himself by using a knife to carve 'FOR REAL' on his arm to show that he was for real (duh), and he just signed off by literally disappearing from the face of the earth shortly after the release of this album. This makes the album is his last will and testament to the world, a journey into frightening issues and imagery. Tales like 'Of Walking Abortion', 'She is Suffering' and 'Die in the Summertime' punctured the album with their unflinching bleakness. The worst of them all was '4st 7lb', a chilling tale of anorexia. The album in itself is a critcism on the lack of realism and action on social issues affecting the world.

One of the singles goes out with the line: 'MAN KILLS EVERYTHING!'

Ok so that's the end of my listing. Feel free to add comments or point me to any other good music that sprouted out during 2004. No Jay Chou or SHE please, they may be good, but no thanks...

The Seven Steps Poems

Compose a poem in seven steps. The theme is a black and white sketch of two bulls fighting at the foot of a wall, and one of them had just fallen dead into a well. You're forbidden to us the words 'two bulls, one bull, fighting, wall's foot, falling, well, and dead'. Fail and face the consequences. So said the elder brother to the younger brother.

Seven steps and out came the recitation:

Two butcher's victims lowing walked along,
Each head bore curving bones, a sturdy pair
They met just by a hillock, both were strong,
Each would avoid a pit newly dug there.
They fought unequal battles, for at length,
One lay below a gory mass, inert.
It was not that they were of unequal strength,
One did not strength exert.

Not enough, the older brother bade he improvise on the theme of their fraternal relationship, the words 'brotherhood, brother' being barred. With no hesitation the recital starts:

They were boiling beans on a beanstalk fire;
Came a plaintive voice from the pot,
'O why, since we sprang from the selfsame root,
Should you kill me with anger hot?'

The elder brother shed a few silent tears ashamed...

No sardonic crap or trying to act deep quotations.

My heart and soul goes out to the families of the victims of the earthquake and tsunamis. May the innocent people who perished RIP.

Idiocy of Life

'Democracy' is what Iraqi women use nowadays to frighten
their naughty children, by shouting: 'Quiet, or I'll call
democracy.'

Haifa Zangana, The Guardian 22nd Dec

Epilogue to Misread

...what do you know?

It happened again...

'Person of the Year'

Finally, the editors at Time magazine has gone mad. Either or that or they failed biology in school. They have name Bush their 'Person of the Year'.

How can you name a monkey 'Person of the Year'? He should be conferred the 'Ape of the Year'. I am sure Ah Meng would not mind being second best to him.

Don't Stop Shaking People.......'s Hands!

He started the day with a mood and a shake.
He was finally arranged.
And someone said with a cold, hard chest, "You're a mess!"
He woke up at nights.
He thought he was twice.
He was moving away cause everyone thinks that it goes away with age.

He’s walking along with his soul in his lungs.
Ya stare at him long you can find a new song.
Everyone thinks they've got a new phrase.
But you're still miles away.
You're still miles away.
I said, "You're still miles away."

Hold me now.
Don't start shaking.
You keep me safe.
Don't ever think you're the only one when times are tough in your new age.

(Acknowledgement: Polyphonic Spree)

Misread

How come no-one told me
All throughout history
The loneliest people
Were the ones who always spoke the truth
The ones who made a difference
By withstanding the indifference
I guess it's up to me now
Should I take that risk or just smile?

(Acknowledgement: Kings of Convenience)

Spanish People Fights Racism

Recently, there has been a big hoo-haa about Spanish football being racist with the national coach telling one of his player that French player, Thierry Henry, is a black piece of shit (shit he may be, but there was no cause for a racist remark) and the Spanish fans making racist chants and noises.

So far no action has been taken against these idiots but I hope they get struck down by lightning soon. However, out of these idiots comes a single shining light out to save the reputation of Spanish football...

"We reject racism and xenophobia and we will show it. I will propose that my players paint their faces black for our next home match" - Getafe president Angel Torres comes up with a novel idea for stamping out racism at his side's ground.

Yes, combat racism with racism. You really deserve the name of Angel.

Manners Sucks

In the course of three days, I have realised there is a built-in faculty in human beings which allows them to cut queues with no remorse and make them uncomfortable about forming queues.

1st day, there was the bus stop. Now you don't see people queuing up for a bus do you? Everybody will just squeeze into one big mess before the entrance of the bus and it will take twice as long for everybody to board the bus, but nobody thinks about that, it is conveniently blocked from their pea brain.

I was trying to board the bus in the big squeeze when this particular lady holding on to her daughter started to maneuver through the crowd trying to board the bus before the people that is already in the big squeeze in front of her. Since she was so keen on setting a bad example to her child, I let her through my 'personal space' in the big squeeze, in the end, she managed to push her way to a seat on the bus while others had to stand.

2nd day, the lift. It was a lift lobby in an office tower for god's sake. There were 8 lifts to service everyone, but yet when a lfit came, everybody will suddenly have the crowd mentality and have a go at entering the lift, although by the time the lift is full, another would have arrive. Once again, the anti-queue faculty has struck again.

3rd day, the scene of the crime was Macdonald's. I have joined the queue (2nd in line) when this lady with her young kid came up to the counter next to the one I was queuing up for. The counter was not in use so I thought she was just viewing the venue. When it was my turn in the queue, she suddenly cut in and ordered what she wanted... and surprise surprise, the counter staff took her order without batting her eyelid.

I tapped the lady on the shoulder and calmly told her: "Mdm, it seems you are showing quite a bad example to your child by cutting other people's queue." (Yes I speak perfect English when I'm agitated). To which she replied: "Har?" Then I told the counter staff: "This lady seems to be your prefered customer." I smiled and walked off.

There is no use fighting people who are hell-bent on teaching their kids the art of queue cutting and crowd squeezing. Children has the right to be taught how to cut queues.

Temasek Idol Sucks

Temasek Idol has sprout forth from the island of creativity and innovation. Using our superior cloning and enhancement skill, we have imported an american / british show directly to our soil wholesale, expecting the s'pore masses to lap up something so lame and unoriginal. Yes, S'poreans can't be so stupid. They wouldn't waste their time watching a few karaoke hopefuls belting out songs that can easily be downloaded somewhere out there (with the original singer to boot). They wouldn't waste their money voting for their favourite idol, knowing that the money could be spent on more meaningful things like charity and family. Yes, all of us are sensible enough to see that aren't we? We are all mature S'poreans afterall.

Surely the show which nobody is watching would having some redeeming qualities, otherwise they wouldn't show it, would they? Here are some of the reasons why it is still being aired:

1. It has Sylvester in it

Well I mean anything that has a looney tune character in it would attract enough kids to keep it going right? Now where's Tweety? And to all the 'Sly' fan out there who says how passionate he is about music (being a punk rock something guy and all), the goon joined Temasek Idol = HE SOLD OUT. He wants to be an idol, he wants people to adore him baby! He's about as passionate about music as toilet paper is passionate about ass holes.

2. The participants are talented

Yes! They are definitely more talented than the S'pore soccer team. Form an idol 1st eleven and I think they will beat the Lions hands down at soccer. Say what? Oh the competition is about singing? Well, they selected the best out of the best right? Have the contestants watched American Idol? If they have listened to the singing of Ruben and Clay, all of them would have quit and gone back to singing in their showers. I can't bear to look when they send the winner to World Idol (or hear what the judges there have to say).

3. No Michael Jackson Impersonators

Enough Said. Nah, but ever wondered why Taufik and Sylvester are in the finals? (Don't give stupid answers that they are the most popular) It is because we need to stress the multi-racial diversity of S'pore where the ethnic Malays are acting like black Americans and the Chinese Bengs are treading the line of turing into citizens of Japan. I hear the feminists going: "Why no female finalists?" Well ladies, cute guys attract frenzied response from adolescent gals and hot gals attract adolescent guys. Temasek Idol => No hot gals + adolescent guys more interested in playing online games and watching porn

Well that's more or less about it, you ask me who will win? I havereally heard both of them sing, probably due to the fact that I haven't been watching the show at all, but I think Taufik will win. He has an institute of professional education rooting for him afterall...