Snot on my Feet

How wonderfully poetic, let's see the newspaper article:

Nose-picker in train dropped filth on my foot

After boarding an MRT train at Yio Chu Kang station at about 8am on June 25, I suddenly felt something wet on my foot.

When I looked down, I was shocked and disgusted to see someone's nasal mucus on my foot.

I identified the culprit as a man in his mid-20s who, in anti-social disregard for hygiene, was unashamedly digging into his nose in full view of other passengers on the train.

This filthy act occured as the train was leaving Ang Mo Kio station.

Although I was infuriated and felt sick, I decided not to confront the man and possibly become embroiled in an ugly scene.

I immediately cleaned up using tissue paper and headed for the toilet in the station to wash up as soon as I had alighted at my stop.

The nauseating creature had already alighted at Braddell station.

-Sherryn Lim
(sourced from STREATS, Wednesday june 30th, 2004)

CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! Brilliant essay Ms Lim, are you writing this for your Pri 6 English assignment? Why the heck would it take you several sentences to convey the message of your anguish and pain? Let me teach you how to do it: ARGHHH!!! ERGHHHHH!!!! BLEAHHHHH!!!!! That's exactly what I'm doing after reading your letter. Thanks for wasting my time on this totally dreary piece of your lifestory that the trashy tabloid published with no apparent respect for the intellectuals out there (yes there are actually people out there with a brain).

Now you probably need some psychotherapy after this horrendous incident. Since I'm filling spiffy today, I will try to provide you with a solution to your predicament should you encounter it again:

I recommend the 'eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth' approach (patented by yours truly). He threw some snot at you, fine, just dig your nose a bit and build up a big piece of snot. Walk up to him and apply the snot on him with your fingers. There you have it, simple stuff, much better than your 'oh i don't want to make a scene' pansy wansy action, no need to get pissed off and then write a yucky letter to the press.

And please, go take a course on creative writing or something...