Blood Letting

Student forced to write apology in blood

A 17-year-old Japanese boy was forced by his teacher to write an apology in blood after dozing in the classroom, the school's principal said yesterday. The 40-year-old male teacher took the student to the staff room before handing him a box-cutter and paper to write an apology with his blood. Other teachers in the staff room did not notice what was happening, the principal said. — Reuters

(source: Today, tuesday, 22nd June 2004)

What can I say? Those perverted japs have finally provided us with the best solution the packs of horrible ghouls and zombies that are currently haunting our schools.

But writing blood letters isn't that effective right? So they just experience some pain and suffering which they rightfully should, that's all. Then they forget about the punishment. And are we allowed to mete this out on the fairer sex?

Taking all this into consideration, I have come up with a win-win punishment which will be similar to the one in the article:

Teachers can now punish students by asking them to donate blood

Yes! That's right! Didn't do your homework? Go down to the school clinic to donate blood. Dyed your hair? Go donate 2 litres. Punkster? Go donate blood. This will instill proper discipline inside schools, since we only have that much blood in our body. Our students (being able to think and all) will have to ponder twice before committing any felonies unless they want to be drained of their blood.

Best of all, the Red Cross will benefit from the increase in blood doners. I hope the Minister of Education is reading this...